01 Aug Five Life Lessons To Learn from Into the Spiderverse
This post was written after the first Into the Spiderverse movie came out. Because I don’t want to spoil the most recent (2023) movie, this post will be about the first movie, only.
Hubs and I must have seen this movie well over eleventeen times. When we watch it, the movie always seems to be just the thing we need at just the right time…
And last week was one of those times… challenging, to say the least. I can’t say it was all bad, but I can’t say it was all good either. Let’s just say it was my week to understand just how much Into the Spiderverse means to so many of us.
What Into the Spiderverse meant to my husband.
When hubs lost his job about two years ago, he was bummed, but pretty optimistic that he would find something in no time. He’s a pretty optimistic guy, which is just in opposition to my pessi-realist personality. Months later, when he hadn’t found anything promising, he was less optimistic. But I think we saw an actual crack in his optimism after a not-so-great job interview that left him almost in tears. Now, I’m not your snuggly warm & fuzzy person, so I tried to think of just what I thought he needed at the time.
Spiderman. Into the Spiderverse had just come out in theaters and he’d been wanting to see it, but we stayed pretty busy with extra-curricular activities and his job search. So I said, ‘I know! Let’s go see Into the Spiderverse – my treat! We’ll do dinner and a movie and you can relax and forget about your job search just for a few hours.’ It didn’t take much convincing, although I could still tell he was bummed; I purchased our tickets and we headed to our favorite theater.
A little over two hours later, hubs was back to his regular optimistic self. That movie gave him the encouragement he needed to keep moving, and soon after he landed his dream job. I loved the movie, but I didn’t quite grasp the emotions he felt after watching it during one of the toughest times in his life.
What Into the Spiderverse eventually meant to me.
Fast forward almost two-ish years, and he was still loving his new job. Me? Well, I’d worked in toxic workplace hell for about a decade, and enough was enough for me. My story is all kinds of bad-workplace-energy from racism to sexism to nepotism and other scandals all rolled up into one terribly mentally and emotionally exhausting experience. I finally had enough and resigned. Yep. Finally. But still, after all the time and effort I put into this career, and after trying my hardest to make it work, I can’t say I wasn’t bummed about how it all turned out. I felt like the villains in my story had won – like my own personal Order 66 had come true and I was left to wander without an ally in the world. I felt defeated and hubs could sense it.
And so just like that evening two years ago, he suggested a movie night at home. We sat down, slid the familiar DVD into the PlayStation, and watched Miles Morales save New York with the help of all the other Spider-people. Again.
I needed into the Spiderverse.
I enjoyed the movie so much when we went to see it in the theater, but I don’t think I fully grasped the significance it had on hubs’ attitude that night. His outlook noticeably changed when we watched it the first time. This time, I got it. I felt it all, understood hubs’ favorite quotes on a different level, and sat there with tears in my eyes as I silently cheered Miles on through his struggles and insecurities.
I needed Into the Spiderverse. We all need the Spiderverse.
Of course, there are pockets of dimensions of reasons why this movie is so important to so many people. I would be remiss if I sat down to write this and failed to mention how amazing it is that little Black and Hispanic kids can see themselves in the superheroes on their television screens. Finally. For a regular kid from Brooklyn, wearing a hoodie and headphones, singing (kind of badly but in an endearing way) along to his favorite music to become the next friendly neighborhood Spiderman – well, I don’t have to tell you how amazing and overdue that is. It was diverse and inclusive, and that meant everything to me at a time when I personally faced so much racism for so long.
But besides that, there are five life lessons Into the Spiderverse taught me, and I want to share them with you:
Five life lessons to learn from Into the Spiderverse
One. You can’t choose your family.
But you can choose your circle. What I mean is that we don’t have a choice when it comes to our family members; but that doesn’t mean we can’t choose a circle of friends who will not only understand us, accept us, and support us – but who will also give us a kick in the butt and web-tie us to a chair if necessary. The people we choose to have around us should encourage and inspire us to be better people… to want to always be better people.
And who knows – maybe your chosen family will be the circle you need at just the right time.
Miles couldn’t choose his family, but he loved his family – even his Uncle Aaron. He didn’t really even choose to be Spiderman, but he found a circle of people who became his friends and whom he learned to trust. And yes, they trusted him, too.
Just like Uncle Aaron told Miles, sometimes you just need someone to tell you ‘You’re on your way. Just keep going, just keep going.”’
Two. Always keep your promises.
Even when it’s hard. Never make promises you can’t keep, but when you tell someone you’re going to do something – when you promise to be there and be present – be there. Do the thing. Be the person you said you would be.
Miles understood this – even when it seemed impossible to keep his promise to Peter Parker, he still tried. Sometimes all we have is our word. And then we have our actions – they often scream louder than the promises we speak.
Three. You won’t always succeed. And that’s okay.
We want something so bad that we can taste it. But it may not be the right thing at the right time. Take it from someone who has a collection of rejection letters about as large as her Star Wars collection. It isn’t always a win, no matter what the influencers and happiness coaches tell you. It might be a no; or it may just be a try harder and then try again.
Peter told Miles, “…I know how much you want this, kid, but you don’t have it yet. I’m sorry.” And it was hard for both of them. Miles wanted to be the hero so badly, but he wasn’t quite ready to take the mantle. He still needed to work at it, find his confidence, and then take that leap.
Four. Don’t quit.
It’s tempting – sometimes you get so discouraged that you just want to quit. I get it and I’ve been there. Hell, I’m still there most of the time. Prowler knew the meaning of this and he was relentless in his quest to find Spiderman. As he told Fisk, “You Know Me, Sir. I Don’t Ever Quit.”
And when the other Spider-people left Miles in his dorm room, he could have given up right there and decided, I don’t have to do this – I can’t do this. But he didn’t. Miles found his resolve and he redefined himself. He decided to be his own Spiderman – the Spiderman he knew his community needed, not the other way around. Miles defined Spiderman, he didn’t let it define him. He didn’t just quit and walk away, and neither should we.
Five. Take that leap.
But in defining himself and what it meant for him to be Spiderman, Miles had to take a leap of faith.
It’s this one… this is the thing that means the most to me right now at this point in my life. I’m not a risk-taker. I’m a planner, and I like for everything to be laid out and planned from the minute I wake up until I go to bed – I know what to expect this way. But sometimes we don’t have time to plan; sometimes our plans don’t work and every plan we make fails. Hubs must have quoted this to me every day for a week… every time I asked ‘but what if I can’t do this?’ or ‘but what if this is the wrong choice?’ He would answer, simply, ‘take a leap of faith.’
Miles Morales: When will I know I’m ready?
Peter B. Parker: You won’t. It’s a leap of faith. That’s all it is, Miles. A leap of faith.
The Bonus. If they can do it, so can you.
Sometimes we don’t think we can do the thing we need or want to do – that we’re not strong enough. But I’m here to tell you that you can do it. We aren’t the only ones who have faced setbacks, so that means we aren’t alone.
“I never thought I’d be able to do any of this stuff, but I can. Anyone can wear the mask. You could wear the mask.” ~Miles Morales.
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